Friday, May 16, 2014

Saying goodbye...

"We toast to those who have moved on from our world but not from our hearts...As we toast them we also remember to pick ourselves up by the bootstraps plow the fields and plant the seeds because for every ending there is a new beginning and Life goes on"

We met 51 years ago when I came into the world you held my tiny hand and called me Trinket...I was your little girl...as the days went by and I would cry I wanted only you...You toiled hard out in the fields to keep us fed...and as I sit here alone today I can't believe you're gone...You were always so strong somehow you would walk right through any trouble that came your way and as the years flew by I thought that you would live for ever...I am not sure I am ready for you to be gone or to continue on without you but now I see I have no choice because you were not the Superman I thought you were...you were just my normal human Dad...
As I laid a final Rose upon your grave a million memories flashed through my head...Like the time you taught me to swim by throwing me in the pond and yelling sink or swim then jumping in after me to keep my head above the water...or the time that you asked me if I thought I could handle the tractor with the hay wagon on the back and I said of course I can and then promptly dumped the whole load of hay going over the creek oh how mad you got but you just went about re-loading the ones that were dry and setting the wet ones aside for immediate use knowing that sooner or later I would be able to cross that creek and not loose one single blade of hay from that wagon...you taught me so many things without even trying to but I especially remember the time when I was not much more than a babe and you were explaining to me which plants to pull out of the garden and which ones to leave in...there I was squatted down watching you pull the tiny weeds that had dared to pop their heads up in your garden...this became a daily ritual as I watched and learned how to plant to weed to love and to grow the plants that put the food on our table and the tables of many others in our community...you taught me how to respect the land and give thanx for everything it blessed us with...You taught me how to respect myself and others and how to give kindness and love to those in need...
You were a tough Dad at times when we strayed from the straight and narrow path which led to some times when I was growing up that we could just not see eye to eye...I thought you were being mean and you thought I was being careless or irresponsible but through it all I can see now that you just loved me so much you didn't want me to grow up (you wanted your little girl forever)  and though you took great pride in who you were you did not want me to become a poor dirt farmer...you wanted me to go so much further than that(Sorry Poppy but I just could not see anything better to be)...You wanted me strong enough to walk through any trouble that came my way the same as you had done I have done that many times already and I know that eventually I will be strong enough to get on with my life and plant those many seeds that still need to be sowed but right now just for today all I want to do is cry for my heart is broken beyond repair and the only time it will be whole is when we again sit side by side watching as the planted seeds grow and the sun sets on another day...I will never let you go for you will live in my soul forever so this is only a goodbye for now for soon I will be there to talk to you, listen, and just be with you for I am still and always will be your "Little Girl"...I love you Poppy
Mom and Poppy