Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Trying to get back on the road to self-sufficiency

Ok I have been really angry the last few days and I can tell you I had to wait this long to sit down and write this out because if I had not done so it would have been downright crappie...The subject of this post says it all...I am sooooo irritated with the systems and people in this country...first for a little history...Ten years ago I went out of work because of a broken back and because it was a sudden loss of income things got bad...I had just bought my house...I skimped and saved every penny so that I could repair my credit to get the loan for the home then bam I was right back in a bad spot since the insurance companies could not decide who was supposed to pay for my injury it took four years to get a steady income again and by the grace of  God we made it through till then on what little my husband was making...finally this year after numerous rehab hours I am as good as I will ever get and although I am not back to what I used to be I have been starting slowly to get my business back up and running and after fighting so hard to get my credit score back up to what used to be considered an average score (the second time around) I applied for a loan only to find that because I was still making payments on some of the old bills and now they considered my score poor credit I would be denied...yet through the overdraft protection program at my bank I would be allowed to have my account be overdrawn to the same amount I wanted for the line of credit and that is just fine with them...well of course it is because that way they get to collect all the fees...I can't run the business without the extra cash flow until it takes off again and so I am stuck in a place I never wanted to be...
Now as you all know the government, banks and public are all screaming about those who are collecting disability and other benefits yet when one of us tries to make it back to being a contributing member of society there are no stepping stones there to help us reach our goals...I so want to be self-sufficient and not rely on anyone's help but there needs to be a way for someone like me to get up out of the ditch and back on the road...I have never and do not now want a handout but a hand up would really be appreciated...
I just wish that there was some kind of program; somewhere to get low cost loans that takes into consideration the circumstances behind the things on a credit report and that sees you as a human and not a number...a program that did this would also be able to realize that not all who have a certain credit score are there because they were irresponsible but that for some it was just a matter of circumstances and since those circumstances have changed they would be able to handle the responsibility of paying off a loan...a small low cost loan (less than 10,000) would allow me to be totally out of debt, off of disability, and running my business with a profit because I would be able to have the capital needed to get started in the right direction...but alas there is no such program to be found and because of the way things are I am not able to reach the goals I have set and must still rely on others to help me make ends meet...there is something so wrong with this scenario that some one somewhere needs to step up and fix it...there needs to be a way that some one can get ahead and not have to be stuck on the rolls or not have to go back on them once they are removed...a way that gives them the ability to keep their health insurance and other programs until they are totally self sufficient and not just half way there...If they came up with this kind of a program then the rolls would go down and stay down and those who are able that did not work to improve their circumstances would be weeded out easily and those that are working hard to become the best contributing members that they can be would not have to feel the stigmatism of needing the hand up.
      I know that at this point you are probably all asking yourselves why don't I go out and get a regular job well here is the answer to that question due to the extensive damage to nerves and muscles from my injury I am still disabled I cannot stand for more than ten to fifteen minutes, sit for more than 20 minutes at a time and I live with excruciating pain most of the time so I need to be able to set my schedule in a way that I can sit, stand and lay down as needed so that I don't fall and cause further injury to my back and legs...well as you can guess that kinda rules out an 8 hour a day 40 hour a week job...and since I have chosen to go back to creating beautiful Items to sell I can sketch and paint laying down or stand and sit as needed I can even lay down and crochet, do needle point or apply the appliqué to my quilts or pillows and if the pain has become unbearable I am able to take my pain medication as needed instead of having to put it off in order to be unimpaired on the job or driving home ...
In conclusion to all of you out there that say we are all bums or lazy now you know the circumstances behind my dilemma and though I would not wish what is happening to me on any one I do wish that you could stand in my shoes and see it from my perspective and I can guarantee that you would probably not make it one hour let alone the many years that I have had to deal with the reduced capabilities of my body and the excruciating pain that I have suffered along with the name calling and ridicule from those around me, nor the frustrations of dealing with a broken system of government and banking on a first hand basis...So do me a favor all of you who are better off than I am before you comment on those of us on this side of the fence...stop and remember this one saying that in this life is so true..." But for the grace of God there go I" as I do when I see those that are worse off than I am and in most cases you will change your mind about making that comment you originally thought was justified...Also please quit complaining so much and help us come up with a solution to the dilemma instead of adding to the stigmatism that is keeping those who are truly in need from going to get that hand up...Please open your hearts and your minds become part of the solution instead of part of the final thought: "If you were me what would you do"?

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